lightning strikes maybe once, maybe twice

suddenly I am eighteen again

back to the floor that I love

packing up the same room I did seven years ago

listening to stevie, finding some comfort in the lightning

that strikes maybe once, maybe twice

you’d think with each move that packing gets easier but it’s so much more nostalgic and overflowing with emotions than I like to admit

although it’s a system at this point, there is still an ocean of feelings

flowing and waving

sadness of what I’m leaving

sadness of the pain that happened while here

happiness of what I gained here

happiness of what will become

all the packing and unpacking

both of items and emotions

what to keep

what to leave

what to get rid of

suddenly I’m four again

sad to leave my best friend

happy for a new adventure

I was braver then

I was emotionally fearless

I was whole, less broken, more me

I still see her bright eyes

now I am twenty five

still whole but with more cracks

a mosaic of life experiences, heartbreaks, trauma, light, art and love – a mosaic of me

still finding warmth in stevie

still sad to leave my best friends

my soul sisters

my parents <3

still happy for a new adventure

new journey

new chapter

new chances

I’ve cried for my present self

my eighteen year old self

my four year old self

we’re still healing

we’re still pouring gold to mend our broken edges

we’re still learning how to let ourselves cry 

we’re still trying to fly

colorado • turkey • virginia • arizona • germany • virginia

california • virignia • nebraska • kansas • nebraska • colorado

took twelve moves but I finally made it back to where my soul met this earth

my own home

“I have no fear

have only love

and if I was a child

and the child was enough

enough for me to love

enough to love”

xx. purely drea